she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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