Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
