I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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