I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
