Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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