Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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