dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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