Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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