you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
