I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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