just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
