See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
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he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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