i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Boobs are out for the taking
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
These tits shall not be calmed
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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