I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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