i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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