I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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