Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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