is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
