i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
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He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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