Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
