Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
