i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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