bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize