would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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