She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
