your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Actions speak louder than pants.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
