So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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