hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize