Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
