Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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