i already hear my dad disowning me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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