can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
