11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
