im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
