And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
