I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
