How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
