I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
