every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
