I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
