At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
