I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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