I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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