i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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