found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
