we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
