Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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