If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
