the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
