Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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