Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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