Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dignity is for republicans.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
