that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
