It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
