what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
