Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
