thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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