I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
the liver wants what the liver wants
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize