The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
