your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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