this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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