Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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