she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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